London

29th March 2024  by

Grateful Boss



Poem: Grateful Boss



 

I’ll give you a wage, well done, it’s an honour for you to be here
.

Yes, a couple of grand less than advertised as that’s what you will get once you’ve proved yourself

in good time

You should be grateful!

I’ll give you a pay rise 
but then I’ll take it back because…

You’re saving money as you don’t need to commute that far into town

You should be grateful!

 

We’ll increase your hours from 35 to 40


Of course we won’t pay you because 40 hours is the norm.

We’ve actually been overpaying you up until now

You should be grateful!

 

I’ve changed my mind 
I’ve changed my mind again 
I’ve changed it back

What’s in the Christmas pay pack?

Something tasty of course

A mince tartlet or a pie?

You should be grateful

and not even think to ask why?

 

Let me ask ‘her’
 I’ll see what she has to say


She hates everyone anyway

You should be grateful she doesn’t show it

In fact you should all be grateful!

 

Review: Grateful Boss



The poem’s title is preparing me to be met with a description of a boss who is demonstrating their ‘gratitude’ and potentially being, on first impressions of them, a borderline lovely employer?

BUT loveliness, Oh no! Instead I’m met with an abrupt message of a pay cut at the ‘interview’ stage before the job has even been offered. There is a clear sign in the first stanza of that of the hierarchy and where the ‘gratitude’ should be placed.

Was the boss not expecting to give the future employee a wage? Is this all the boss’s thinking? This has to be a joke, right?  Just the act of being there at this establishment, wherever it is, should be enough of a shot in the arm. It’s positively a boost and that’s all that’s needed right?

‘Boosts’ indeed do pay bills, don’t they? Boosts put shoes on feet and zooms around the food on its way to you on that Deliveroo scooter!

By the looks of it, the interviewee has not had a chance to get a word in edgeways to respond. They must be in a state of shock?  Surely, they cannot be ‘grateful’ for this erm… ‘welcoming’ first impression of the company, the business or a hell in disguise?

Oh my! Shuddering at this I am (ish, but not by much). I soon realise they’ve got the job by the looks of it. Hurray, and yes to that? All is ok and well done.

They’ll be getting paid in that well known period of ‘good time’!

Oh, how reassuring a message that is (!)

First impressions eh? First Impressions.

The verbal mime act of an imaginary pay rise is offered but then immediately rescinded due to the commute further into town not being necessary. Oh, how kind a message it is! This must be a local position. How convenient.

Isn’t it an ‘interesting’ move, made by the boss, that they believe and can convince the employee to work extra hours and avoids paying for those hours by saying that they had been overpaying them in first place!

That’s bold and outrageous and yet they should be grateful?

I laugh out loud as I cannot believe that this level of twisted absurdity could happen in real life when a pay rise is being offered.

A stroke of genius to sell this idea?  Where has this idea come from I wonder? Did they learn this from another? Is it drug induced or some, seen-it-on-you-tube- DIY sorcery?

The boss must be clever and have a ‘way with words’ that’s convincing? Aren’t they being a thoughtful boss though?

NO, OF FLIPPIN COURSE NOT!

Yes, I am laughing out loud with incredulity. I’m not even halfway through the poem, BUT I have an idea as to where it may be heading and it isn’t somewhere rewarding!

Looking ahead at the Christmas period ‘Tis’ will be ‘the season’ (and all that). The boss is having pendulum, back and forth thoughts of what to offer staff at that time. Could it be an extra payment of some kind of a ‘bonus’ to reward loyalty, commitment and to say thanks?

So, what’s the motive? The goal? The target?  There has to be something of an incentive right?

Well yes, It’s that of a…

‘mince tartlet or a pie’ that’s what! Yummy times eh?

And even more gratitude is expected!

Oh, I’m going to burst as I cannot hold my laughter in for much longer!

What I find interesting is that ‘the boss’ has needed to ask a ‘She’ the question of what should the gift should be?. What has this ‘She’ got to say and who is ‘She’? I compose myself,  and dry my tears of laughter and then ponder… hmm.

 

It’s all making sense to me now!  

Sounds like the ‘she’ is another boss. A sleeping partner. She clearly holds the purse strings, makes the all-important money making and saving decisions to grow the business. She controls the budget but may only possess the sensitivity and personal skills of a biting gnat. She leaves the persuading and convincing side of the business to that of ‘the boss’ who does all the talking.

I detect that the boss is fearful of her and promotes the attitude of gratitude behind a mask of self delusion.

At the end of the poem, it appears that a meeting with other staff members has taken place. What’s concluded is that this other ‘She’ boss is full of contempt and yet all should be grateful she doesn’t show it!

Where to go after reading this poem?

OUT! that’s where.

And as far away as possible.

Never to see it, nor speak of it ever again.

This poet’s message serves as a warning to all and that’s to interview the interviewer! Look them in the eye. Don’t be fearful of turning to stone when doing so.

Don’t get sucked in or stay within someone else’s absurdity.

If it sounds too good to be true… Well this wasn’t at all in the first place was it? The signs were there.

It’s farcical!

I’m glad and grateful that I have consigned this unfortunate sitation to a place of fiction as surely it cannot be real, right?

A totally bonkers poem balancing drama and comedy. An entertaining read.

 

 

in Editorial / London / Poetry / reviews
10th March 2024  by

Sweet

Poem: Sweet

 

He buys me chocolate

He’s not my sugar daddy

We drink coffee together

He’s not my sugar daddy

We share music, poems and stories

We meet

We eat

Always a delight and a treat

He lifts me high when he’s far or close by

I love this guy

We walk arm in arm and talk by the river

What else, are people thinking is he likely to give her?

He’s not my sugar daddy

 

 

Review: Sweet

 

Instantly I would say this guy is a senior gentleman and is infatuated with this younger lady as he buys her chocolate. Traditionally, is that not a romantic gesture and a tried, tested and tired cliché?  Before I roll my eyes, shrug my shoulders and think of yawning, I say,

“HOLD ON”  it’s just a nice thing to do right? People do nice things like that all the time don’t they? It could be just something thoughtful and pleasant with no agenda.

But could it mean something more than just a nice simple sweet offering?

Yes, it could! It could mean that the gentleman is showing an interest and is potentially keen on being romantically involved? Hmm? Perhaps? Could be? The ‘could’s’ of this world never hold a clear answer to anything do they? People are more complex and multi layered.

As I read on it looks like a friendship already has been established where they spend time together, share special moments and are happy to walk arm in arm by the river together. There’s a closeness and a connection here with love and respect.

Friends do that sort of thing don’t they? Feeling good in each other’s company is natural. Friends hug, talk, back each other up and walk arm in arm at times?

Not all folk are stuck in a self-induced solipsistic existence.

He is real and not a hologram

Their bond is real

She’s already saying she loves him.

There’s clearly an age difference with the repeated  ‘sugar daddy’ reference in the poem

The lady states ‘he’s not’ but to those outside, it might be read in that way.

So, what is the appeal?

A connection has been made. They get on. There is chemistry. Whatever they have in common, they keep that going. Mind the gap? The age gap? Mind your own business is what I would say.

I love the title of the poem ‘Sweet’ because it is just that. A fun, smile-inducing read

 

in Editorial / food / London / Music / Poetry / reviews
6th February 2024  by

I want some… order

Poem: I want some… order

 

Too bored

Not easy

Not stimulating

Not happy

I’m not exaggerating

But I’m evaporating

I want some order

My order of fun

Catapult me into a clean, beautiful, pretty and useful world

I want round-the-clock snug

With the right night clubbing

And the right dj’s spinning discs

Of soul, samba and reggae

Dance Dance Dance during the day by the river and at night

We’ll have the language of joy and supreme delight!

You will like it

You’ll be dancing with me

 

 

Review:I want some…order

 

Oh dear! Oh no! The poet is experiencing more than being just a bit fed up!

A bored poet? A bored artist? It’s unheard of, surely. There’s so much material out there that boredom just doesn’t occur, right?

Wrong! Whether we all admit it or not, boredom does exist.

Why is this? Does it need to exist? Can it be a good thing? (another story for another time)

In a nutshell, I personally believe that repeated boredom is a message attempting to tell the people or an individual to make a change for the better.

I get it if it’s an observation of boredom by the poet to then see what can be done to amend the situation and then to balance out the experience of life with the more pleasurable, inspiring, interesting and exciting things. It looks like the poet has found themselves conducting some involuntary research on the subject. It sounds like there is an imbalance and the reader learns of what is needed.

It must feel awful to feel like you’re slowly disappearing or worse, to feel totally invisible in a crowded world.

So what is the answer?

The poet wants aesthetically pleasing things. Eye of the beholder and all that eh? Each to their own, etc etc.

Bin the worn out stuff. Can be done, yes.

Recycle stuff. That too can be done.

Buy new stuff. Sure. The poet wants to be comfortable and to feel secure. Fine, I get that too. Sounds like a plan BUT what else does the poet need? What is needed to stimulate the poet?

It’s that ‘F’ word

F for FUN!

FUN FUN FUN FUN! FOR FUN’S SAKE!

It feels so satisfying to shout it!

Looks like the poet wants to be launched right into it.

That is a place to experience music, dance and to share that with others. The words are vivid. I feel that it’s describing London, with one of London’s creative spaces by the river where I have been many a time and that’s the Southbank centre

I admire the honesty, energy and the order. Let’s dance yes!

I love how the poet connects directly with the reader by saying that they’ll enjoy the experience as they’ll be acknowledged, welcomed and included.

To experience the joy of music with others is a great way to connect and communicate. I’d be happy to do that with the poet, and I’m sure I will like it!

 

 

in Editorial / London / Poetry
6th December 2023  by

Cold Hearted Weather forecast – Winter

Cold Hearted Weather forecast – Winter

It’s ice

It’s snow

It’s winter

It’s what happens

GET ON WITH IT!

Autumn was before

Spring will be next

Summer happens when it wants to

Temperatures vary

There’s nothing new under the sun if we were to have it

GET OVER IT!

Rain is guaranteed

 

Review: Cold Hearted Weather forecast – Winter

Oh my word!

It’s blunt, blunt, blunt

Nothing at all cosy about this forecast!

Should there be?

First and foremost, should the words of the presenter offer reassurance even when a gale force wind or a snowstorm is scientifically predicted to be on its way?  Ooh scary times ahead! The ‘end of the world’ could sound ‘not that bad’ if presented in a friendly manner, eh?

Is it best not to know of these things and just let the weather ‘get on with it’, (as it says in the poem) The weather, by the very nature of it will do just that. It always has done.

I personally do like this forecast because it’s honest and to the point. I know where I am with it. There doesn’t need to be an intense, overly swirly graphic visual attached with this just because ‘the technology’ is there to do it. It’s unnecessary and boring.

Design should be more sophisticated than that. It should be about who it is for and not the competing ego’s that have been given the ‘go ahead’ by the clueless in charge, who are clutching at the frayed purse strings and handing out paychecks without any design credentials of their own. It shows in the quality of the Art direction of the work. ‘Shouting the loudest’ does not make, whatever it is, the best idea. The not listening, the not understanding, its inappropriateness and what is lacking is what is on show. It’s short lived and a vacant ‘vanity’ project. Vulgar. The Bendy bus on London roads. Remember that? It’s just one example of some bright spark’s way of thinking. This idea did not serve and it failed.

Back to the poem. Once the simple facts are known in the first four lines, I’m getting a clear message of what to do!  Knowledge is power and all that.  I’m being told to Get on with it! I’m telling myself I need to pull up my thermal socks!

A quick nod to the previous season and the following one is all that’s needed. Remain present, but be aware of what’s happened before and the anticipation of what’s due to happen next.

Summer is hilarious and known to the presenter to be temperamental

‘The sun’ can indeed be unreasonable with its peekaboo behaviour behind the clouds.

According to the forecaster nothing new can happen when under it so the ‘advice’ is to Get over it! Love it! and I’m accepting of it.

The finishing touch of the rain, does it for me. It’s nice to have the reassurance that many things in life are not guaranteed. Is it cold hearted of me to say this? No, just a truth. Therefore ‘Be prepared’ is the overall message I’m getting here. No excuse not to be, right? With this style of report I will always be sure to have my brolly with me!

I will get over it but my aim is to enjoy it while I’m here. Living is about the endurance and enjoyment of it.

A charming and economic poem offering lots to think about.

A weather report does not need to be long winded, (pardon the pun) now does it?

 

 

 

in Design / Editorial / Graphic Design / London / Poetry / reviews
29th September 2023  by

Envy innit?

Poem: Envy innit?

The aim of those who covet is for one day they long to be coveted too!

What a waste of energy

A stunted evolution

 

Oxen, Asses, and all that

 

You’ve seen one ass, you’ve seen them all

I yawn

 

 

 

Review:Envy innit? 

 

An amusing and wise little poem. The starting point of this short poem is with a regional term, innit? I’ve not ventured much beyond the M25 but I recognise the term ‘innit’ as something familiar from my North London and East London days. ‘Innit’ is indeed a London ‘fing.

The title get’s my attention and I’m reading it with a London dialect in mind.

This serves me as I’m already in that mode when I get to “Oxen, Asses and all that”

A good conversational starter of “let’s talk about this and this is what I think”

A great opening statement with those who desire the things of others and that their desire is for the things that they have, and aim to have, to be hankered over too.

How very shallow and hollow. Is this what most people do? “Look at me”, accompanied with a “what I’ve got status”

Or is the acquiring of ‘things’ with the desire for the items and apparent status achieved to be coveted or is it a reaction to a trauma? They are in a position to get things where they couldn’t before therefore they…

Buy stuff, buy stuff, buy stuff, buy buy buy! Accumulate, accumulate squirrel-like and then? Unease or social discomfort eradicated? Or would they just keep going?

Justified actions? From their own perspective, absolutely yes.

It looks as though they will keep going if the aim is to reach an even higher status.

But who would know of this unless it’s a parent, or a grandparent or someone close who were at the beginning of a person’s life and know of their story? It would only be from their perspective wouldn’t it? The perspective of someone naturally exhibiting a proud bias. Perhaps not broad enough? and perhaps with a tinge of a ‘rose tinted spectacle’ view.

The overt display and the nodding of heads from others is a sign of acknowledgement, acceptance and being ‘liked’ by a certain social group and fitting in. Has this always been the case? Now it is facilitated by social media platforms demonstrating edited and curated behaviours to be shared.

Seeking to be coveted is definitely a waste of energy rendering the seeker emotionally vacant. What a time consuming and costly faff!

Human beings are indeed capable of doing and achieving so many good things with not everything needing to be trumpeted.  Coveting and buying stuff and buying into commercially driven ideas can stunt evolution and distract an individual from their own personal aims or aim in life.

The poet is referencing well-known biblical ancient text when it comes to the oxen and asses.

What is the modern-day equivalent?

The modern ‘jumbo’ cars of today? Other modes of personal transportation? (another story for another time) The oxen and asses from long ago were needed right? Are the jumbo oversized cars of today needed? How did humanity cope before, with the size of vehicles in relation to the size of people? Are we as humans, not sophisticated enough to design vehicles that are safe, stylish and not needing to be ginormous?

Is someone or something ‘spinning a yarn’ here with the claimed benefits of these beasts on wheels?

I get the feeling that the poet regards the behaviours of those who covet and what drives them as something not being a new phenomenon as they recognise the pattern. When the behaviour is seen over and over again and not likely to change it bores the poet into writing this poem. I like the punchy conclusion where the poet refers to those who engage in this sort of behaviour as asses!

A satisfying little read.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

in Design / Editorial / Inspirational / London / Photography / reviews / Uncategorised